#selfie: Cultivating your Godly self image

Good afternoon Parents! We continued this week with the theme of Selfie and the idea of being created in Gods image. Take a bit to watch the lesson from this week here and follow along with the slides here. You may be slightly confused by the video and think "who is this strange white guy and where is Sweh?" But have no fear, for those of you that dont know, that is my intern Ryan. The idea of self image is crucial to teens lives but we often distort it. To often we try and emulate people to simply have them like us, when our God who loves us is the only opinion that truly matters!

Thursday:

Sit down with your teen and discuss why we all seek validation from friends. Briefly revisit the idea of the profile and what your teen is trying to fit into or be what they are presenting to everyone on their profile. Try and help them pin point what they are doing to seek validation from others and whether or not this is good. Talk about healthy ways of being validated such as doing their best in school (this does not mean they will do well in every subject), finishing well in sports (no matter if they win or lose), or serving in church. Remember to emphasize that we do not do these things for people to like us, rather we do them to glorify God.

Prayer Guide: Pray for your teen that they would not be so concerned with getting people to like them and that they would focus on solidifying their relationship with Christ.

Friday:

The culture in which our teens are growing up today is very much centered around ourselves. We are told continually throughout each day to do what makes us happy, to live for ourselves, to get what we deserve. With all of these bombardments we must have an outlet to share these things. Social media today is a great tool but how often do we use it socialize? While there is nothing wrong with posting statuses or pictures, discuss the idea of posting for the purpose of self promotion. Discuss ways of taking the focus off of ourselves and focusing it on Christ. As set up for tomorrow briefly revisit the celebrities that your teen is seeking to emulate. Ask them to think more about why they want to emulate them for tomorrow.

Prayer Guide:

Spend time praying with your teen about how they can self promote less and instead represent Christ. Pray specifically that they would be an example to their friends in this area. Pray for your teen that they would not feel the pressure from society to be something they are not.

Saturday:

Hopefully your teen is ready to talk about why they are trying to emulate certain celebrities or friends. Move through this with a couple different questions such as: What are you doing currently to emulate them, What qualities do they have that you want, Is this celebrity really a good example to follow? After you have discussed these questions take the conversation to the subject of approval and whos they are looking for. The reason that we do certain things is to gain the approval of others because we often think that this approval will somehow make us happier or better off. Galatians 1:10 says “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ” When we are constantly seeking the approval of our friends we ignore what Christ has called us to do. Talk through ways that your teen might be seeking unhealthy approval from piers.

Prayer Guide:

Pray with your teen about not being so concerned about having the approval of others and rather seeking the approval of Christ. Pray they would seek what the Lord desires for their life and that they would become the man or women that God has planned for them to be.

Sunday:

Start by sharing with your teen times that perhaps you compromised in order to gain the approval of others. I encourage you to be honest with your teens, they often forget that you were their age once and made the same kinds of mistakes. Share with them from your  experience how detrimental it can be to ones self to ones self when we allow others to make our choices for us. Talk about how superficial popularity is never worth life long consequences.

Prayer Guide:

Pray for wisdom for your teens. Pray that they would stand strong in their faith and their morals and that they  would not be swayed or moved from what they know to be right just because other people are pressuring them to do so.

Monday:

Take your Bible and turn to Psalm 139:13-16. After reading this discuss the idea of what it means to be uniquely and intricately created. The passage says we are fearfully and wonderfully made, with that in mind move the conversation towards the idea that we were created with purpose and intent. Remind your and yourself that this intentional creation shows love and care from our Heavenly Father.

Prayer Guide:

Pray with your teen that they could not seek the approval of others so much and that they would realized that their Father loves them and that is all that matters!

Tuesday:

Finish this week by opening back up to Psalm 139 and focusing only on verse 15 and 16. Discuss why it is so important to our faith that we know that we were specially created. If we simply go the route of saying that scientific genetics are always predictable and your child looks like you because that’s how things work, we strip God of His power and deny the fact that He carefully and lovingly knit us all together. The end of verse 16 says that all of our days were numbered before there was yet one, Converse with your teen about what this means for their life. Does God have a plan for them? Yes! Get them thinking now about what this might be and how the Lord desires to use their life for His glory and their good.

Prayer Guide:

Pray for your teens future today. Pray with them that they would want to serve Christ and would do whatever He may call them to in life.

Wednesday:

TAKE YOUR KIDS TO CHURCH!!! Don’t just let them sit around and complain later about being bored. Invest in their spiritual life and get them plugged in tonight!

#selfie : Cultivating Your Godly Self Image

A Good Afternoon to all Parental Figures! I trust that this Thursday finds you doing well and continuing to grow and deepen your relationship with your children, no matter what age they are. Our new series, which is entitled #selfIe: Cultivating Your Godly Self Image, has been themed around instagram and the way that it functions. Just as a quick disclaimer, I do not think instagram is bad or that your children should not use it, rather it serves as a good object lesson in this case. It is up to your own family discretion whether instagram is for your kids or not.

Over the next 3 or 4 weeks we are going to be dealing with topics such as body image and how society tells us what is the "ideal", appearance: how we dress, what we wear, and who we hang out with. The goal of this series is to help teens to realize that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and that God is the only one whose approval of them truly matters.

In this first lesson, we talked about our "Profile." Everyone on instagram has one. It is designed for people to put pictures and biographical information about themselves in order to tell the world, "this is who I am." But isn't it funny how people's profiles tend to look like everyone else's? Instead of being thankful for and making the most of our own profile in life,  we spend so much time and energy trying to fit someone else's profile of who we should be. Before you talk with your teens make sure to take a few minutes and watch the lesson here and to look over the power point slides while you do here.

Thursday:
A selfie is literally an image of yourself. Begin a discussion today with your teens about their self image. On this first day, focus on the idea of profile, and how we spend energy trying to fit a cultural "ideal." What are some of the elements of the cultural "ideal?" What are some of the things that guys and girls are expected to be and do? What are some of the aspects of how we are supposed to look, dress and act? Ask your teens if they feel pressured to meet this cultural "ideal," and how they are dealing with that pressure. Ask them about their friends, and if they can think of examples of people they know who are chasing the "ideal." Tell your teens that this week you're going to help them try to work through that pressure by chasing Jesus rather than chasing an ideal. This would also be a good time to be honest with them about your own struggle to fit a cultural ideal. Talk about when you were growing up, and be honest about the fact that adults are pressured to fit a cultural ideal as well. Share with them from your heart about things that you've wrestled with.

Prayer guide: Pray for your kids that God will help them to find their value in him rather than in a cultural ideal. Pray for clarity in perspective, and that God would help them (and you) to let go of comparing yourself to others. Pray that you all would be good stewards of your "profile" instead of trying to fit someone else's.

Friday:
Go to the 20th slide of the powerpoint and begin a discussion regarding the statistics that are shown. Ask your kids if they are unhappy with something about their bodies. Ask them if they are taking measures (whether healthy or unhealthy) to change those things about their bodies that they don't like. Talk about healthy ways to steward your body well, without becoming obsessive or unhealthy in any way. Ask your kids if they feel pressured to be a certain weight, or a certain body fat or muscle percentage. Again, talk about being healthy rather than being a certain size.

Talk about the entertainment that your children listen to and watch. Talk about the effect that media can have on our self-image. Ask them if they are aware of any examples of things they have seen or heard that have affected them. For example, "I see how women look on the cover of magazines, and I want to look like them," or "Most of the people I see on reality shows are really hot, and I feel like I don't measure up..." etc. As a parent, pray about what choices your family should make regarding entertainment. Entertainment is not necessarily a bad thing. Please don't be legalistic about restrictions. Instead, train your kids how to be discerning, and how to filter out the junk on their own. If all you ever do is hide the world from them, they won't be prepared to face it when they are on their own.

Prayer Guide: As you did yesterday, pray together about self-image. Pray that God would give each of you a healthy view of yourself. Pray that God would help each of you to be good stewards of your profile. Pray that God would release you all from the pressure to look a certain way.

Saturday:
Today's discussion has the potential to be very awkward and uncomfortable, especially if you have never had it before. The 23rd slide of the powerpoint talks about eating disorders, and the percentage of people who struggle in that area. Before talking to your kids, it is vitally important that you are prayed up. Pray that God would give you the words to speak. Pray that he would help you to lovingly and compassionately broach this subject without being brash, or making matters uncomfortable. Pray that God would help your kids to be comfortable with being open and honest with you, or with a trusted advisor.

It may be useful to do some reading on the subject before bringing it up to your children. One recommended resource I would point to is a series of articles by Focus on the Family, which can be found by clicking here.

If you have ever struggled with an eating disorder, or unhealthy dieting, share your story with your kids today. If you never have, do your very best to not come across as judgmental toward those who do. Tell your kids how deeply you love them, and that if they are struggling in this area, that they can be honest with you about it without fear of rebuke. Approximately 10-15% of Americans struggle with an eating disorder. And many of those that do struggle with an eating disorder never report it, so that number is likely higher. All that to say, there is at least a 10% chance that your child, male or female, has struggled at some level with unhealthy eating or exercise habits.

Have the discussion with your kids. Ask them gentle, loving questions about their eating and exercise habits. Ask them about counting calories, and strict dieting. Offer your assistance in making sure that they are fed healthy, well-prepared meals so that they can steward their bodies well. Assure them of your love for them. Today is not the day for correction or rebuke. Today is the day to let them know how much you care, and that you want to come alongside them.

Prayer guide: Your prayer at the end of the discussion will greatly depend on how the discussion went. If they admitted to struggling with an eating disorder, pray through that. If they said they don't, and you believe they are telling the truth, pray that God would continue to establish healthy habits and mindsets. If they said they don't struggle in that area, but you have reason to believe that they are not being truthful, pray that "if they ever do struggle with unhealthy habits," God would give them the courage to be honest.

Sunday: 
Go to church! Seriously. Go to church. I know it's summer time, and it's easy to slack off, and go the lake every week, but seriously. If you're in town, don't slack. Go to church. Vacation from work and school is not a reason to take vacation from the gathering of believers.

Discuss Robert's sermon together as a family. Note points of emphasis. What stuck out to you? What did you learn? What did he confirm? What did he challenge in you to reconsider?

Prayer guide: Pray that God would help you all individually and as a family apply the things that Robert taught

Monday: 
Go to the powerpoint and pull up slide 29. Take a look together at the 1950s ads! Talk to your teen about how different the cultural ideal was back then. Talk about how the cultural ideal is a stupid thing to chase because it is ever changing. As soon as person catches it, it changes again. Talk about the fact that going through history, the ideal has always been different. Rather than chasing after that ideal, chase after value in christ which never changes.

It's important to point out to them that these advertisements shouldn't be seen as a new ideal, but rather a point of comparison to demonstrate that "ideal" doesn't exist.

Prayer guide: Pray that God help your teens to see through the lies of the cultural ideal. Pray that God would give fresh perspective.

Tuesday: 
After giving a recap of what has been discussed this week, open your bibles and read James 1:22-25 together. Hopefully by now you're getting your kids accustomed to reading out loud. Look at the main points discussed in the sermon. If you need, review that part of the video together. Now talk through each main point. Talk about the difference between hearing or reading God's word vs actually applying it to your life. On this point, discuss especially what God's word says about our value and image, and discuss why we hardly ever consider and apply that.

Next talk about what happens when we look in the mirror of scripture. Rather than being concerned about our weight or clothing size, we'll be more concerned with the sins in our lives.

Talk about the freedom that God's word gives us from our insecurities, as long as we apply it to our lives.

Prayer guide: Pray that God would lead your kids to a place of having total and complete confidence in him. Pray that they would not believe the lies of culture. Pray that they would not feel pressured to define themselves by appearance, but rather to be defined by who they are in Christ. Pray that as this series continues, they will be equipped to deal with the attacks of the enemy in healthy, godly ways

Wednesday: 
TAKE YOUR KIDS TO CHURCH!! Don't let them sit around!

Weekly lesson update: "Mine" lesson 2

Good Afternoon Parents! I apologize for the delay on this weeks lesson but hopefully you've been able to connect with your teens in other ways. Although there was no Youth Group this week I pray you have been able to lead and disciple your teen(s) in ways that will set them up for success in the future.

We are continuing with the theme of "Mine! Making Faith Your Own" and I cannot stress enough how important this is with youth today! If we as parents and mentors simply tell teens what to do all of the time they will never understand how to make decisions on their own. If we allow that pattern to continue than friends or peers might push them to do things they know are wrong, yet they will do them because they have not been taught how to make their own decisions.

Faith is vital to continuing in a christian walk which glorifies Christ. My hope is that through this series the teens might understand that this is not something you as parents are forcing them to do or is simply a get out of hell free card. Rather I pray that the teens take faith and make it personal and find how they can best serve and honor our Father with what they have been gifted.

That being said, I hope that this week helps your family to connect in a way that causes growth in all of you.

Thursday/Friday:  (combining 2 days because of the delay)

Sit down and watch part 2 of the "Mine!" series. You can find the video here or by going to YouTube and searching for the channel "Smyrna Samurai".

Start this week by discussing the idea of "The Apple not falling far from the tree". What are things that you and your teen(s) are both good at or do similarly? (ie My Father had an amazing mustache and I have been blessed with wonderful facial hair) What are things that you do differently or one of you are good at and the other is not. (ie My father was good at bowling, I am lousy at it) How do these things help you work together as a family or individually?

Prayer Guide: Talk to your kids about their plans for the weekend. Ask how they are actively making their faith their own and how they are going to do that throughout the weekend. Pray together for guidance in decision making this weekend.

Saturday:

Its Saturday, go do something fun together! Weekends are great for spending time together. Whenever you decide to get together tonight open to 1 Samuel 1 and take turns reading the chapter. Ask your kids what they did today and if there was any opportunity to make a decision for faith on their own. If there was, talk about it and why they made the decision they did. If not, then create an easy hypothetical situation and ask what they might do.

Prayer Guide: Pray together for strength for one another and that if there is a tough situation, that each one of you would make the wises decision.

Sunday:

Take a break from 1 Samuel and discuss Robert's sermon today. Try and discuss how specifically it might apply to your teen(s) and how they can use it in their life this week.

Prayer Guide: Making faith ones own is not something that happens over night. Pray for you kids that they will walk in a manner worthy of the Gospel and be given chances to test their faith.

Monday:

Open up to 1 Samuel 2 and read the chapter together. Talk about how Eli's sons misused their faith for their own selfish gains. Discuss why you go to Church as a family and in what ways you each are growing from it. I hope that there is evident fruit in both your life and the lives of your children and if not then perhaps its time to examine if you are simply going through the motions or perhaps are ignoring the Holy Spirit's call on your life. In that case what can you do to make your a worldview instead of just an activity?

Prayer Guide: Pray that as a family you would be active in your faith and make it more than simply something to do on Sunday and Wednesday night.

Tuesday:

Read 1 Samuel 3 as the last day for this week. Look specifically at how Samuel obeys the Lord and takes faith as his own personal relationship with the Lord, even though he is just a child. Ask your teen(s) if they had to find their own way to church, would they still go? Is their faith something they want to actively grow in and build upon? Tell your kids how you are making your faith personal and making it your own.

Parents remember it is YOUR job as Fathers and Mothers to lead your children by example! What kind of example are you setting for them? Are you actively and willingly pursuing opportunities to grow in your faith, to build on your faith, to understand more what faith in Christ means? I encourage you that if you are not involved with a church ministry, to find one and become an active participant. However please DO NOT do this if it is simply just for the sake of being seen by others. Real faith does not seek glory or recognition.

Prayer Guide: Start by praying separately for a minute or two and ask God how you might best serve Him this week. After a minute or so has passed come together with your kids and pray as a family that you might be able to exemplify Christ to one another in the weeks to come. Pray also for your teens to grow and to own their faith.

Weekly lesson update: "Mine" lesson 1

Happy Thursday parents! I hope that this message finds you discipling your children every day. Last week I did not upload a lesson update, because next week I'll be on vacation. So this week, I'm uploading two weeks worth of content, so that next wednesday you there will still be content to work from! (So in case you haven't figured out, there will be no youth group on Sunday or Wednesday of next week. But not to worry. There will still be content for you and your kids to follow this week and next week.

Below you'll find the lesson update for the latest series I'm' teaching, "Mine! Taking faith and making it your own."

According to one study, 65% of Americans age 65 or older claim to be Christians. But only 35% of Americans age 46-64 claim to be Christians. Even worse, only 16% of Americans age 33-45 claim to be Christians. And worst of all, only 4% of Americans age 32 or younger claim to know the Lord. Obviously, faith is not being passed down from one generation to the next. There is clearly a disconnect somewhere. I believe that part of that disconnect that is each generation is making their parents faith less and less their own. The average student attending church with their family is only living out their parents faith, never owning it for themselves. And as soon as obstacles to that faith arises, they leave it in their past. It's easy, because it was never theirs to begin with.

So how does a person take their parents faith and make it their own? How can parents help their kids own their faith? That's what this series is all about.

Thursday:

Sit down together with your kids and watch the first video of this series. You can find a copy of the video on YouTube by clicking here. Unfortunately, the video got cut short somehow at the end of the lesson, but you can find the rest of the main points by looking at my powerpoint presentation found here.

Discuss with your kids the statistics listed at the beginning of the lesson. Does this reflect what you see in your friends? Throughout the week, you'll discuss the rest of the lesson.

Prayer guide: Ask your kids what they'll be doing in school tomorrow to finish the week. Share with them what you'll be doing at work to finish out the week. Pray together about your Friday. Pray that God will help them to make their faith their own.

Friday: 

Discuss the idea of Parallel play. Watch this section of the video again if needed. Ask your kids to honestly evaluate whether they feel that you as a parent are interacting with and leading them spiritually, or if they feel like you're just playing church next to each other. Some sample questions to ask include the following:

Do you feel like we're serving Jesus as a family, or are we just participating in church activities as individuals? 

Do you feel like I'm actively leading you by not only showing you a godly example to follow, but also taking an active role in teaching you how to follow Jesus? 

What would make you feel like we're doing this together?

Now spend some time strategizing.  Figure out together how to make faith a shared experience. Be honest about where you are. If your kids feel like you're not setting the example, don't be offended. Take the evaluation with humility, and determine to do better. Tell your kids that you want to commit to doing all you can to lead them spiritually.

Prayer guide: Ask your kids to pray for you out loud, that you'll be the best spiritual leader you can be. Pray for your kids out loud, and pray for yourself, not only that you'll be the best spiritual leader that you can be, but also that they will follow Jesus with all their hearts.

Saturday: 

I suggest this almost every week, but if you're able, do something fun together! When you sit down to discuss this week's lesson, first sit down to read 2 Timothy 1 together. Take turns reading about 4-5 verses each until you get through the chapter.

Yesterday you discussed your responsibility as a parent to lead. Today the onus is on them. Ask your kids what they are doing personally to "fan into flame the gift of god." Ask them if they are doing all that they can possibly to do own their faith, and follow Jesus. If not, discuss how they can.

Prayer guide:  Like yesterday, pray out loud for your kids that they would be followers of Jesus, and would seek with all their hearts to obey him.

Sunday:

As always, take some time to discuss Robert's sermon together. Hopefully by now you're in the habit of taking good notes, or remembering main points to discuss. Ask your kids what part of the sermon was most impactful, and share with them what was most impactful to you.

Prayer guide: Today, spend some time praying for people in church who, for whatever reason, can't be there on sunday morning. Whether it's because of sickness, scheduling conflict, or just the decision  to not attend, pray together that the Lord would minister to them where they are.

Monday:

Part of "fanning into flame the gift of God" is taking the time to examine your faith. To make it your own, you have to be comfortable enough with it to grab hold of it. If you have nagging doubts, or lingering questions, it will be difficult to do that. Tell your kids that they have the freedom to express their doubts to you without judgment. AND THEN BACK THAT UP. If your child opens up to you and says that they are doubting their faith, or even that they don't believe at all, don't jump down their throats. The fact that they were honest enough to tell you that was a step of courage, and one that you should honor. Thank them for their honesty, and tell them that you love them no matter what, and that you want to help them examine their doubts and questions.

Together, make a list of the things the questions and doubts they may have. Once you have that on paper, you can work together to find answers to the hard questions! I'll do whatever I can to answer those questions with you. Be open and honest enough with them to put your own doubts or questions on paper as well. I posted this link last week, but here's a really good resource to discuss those questions: "65 Apologetics Questions Every Christian Parent Needs to Learn to Answer."

Prayer guide: Pray together that God would help each of you as individuals and together as a family to examine all the doubts and questions you all have. Pray for clear wisdom. Pray for strong faith that will come from examining.

Tuesday:

Talk to your kids today about sharing their faith. Talk together about whether or not any of you are actively sharing your faith with anyone at work, school, home, in your circles of friends, or the people that you're around in various situations. A vital part of owning your faith is sharing your faith. Ask the following questions, both of yourself and of them:

Are you praying every day for opportunities to share your faith? 

Are you afraid to share your faith? Why? 

When was the last time you shared your faith with someone? When was the last time For the salvation of someone who is lost? 

How can you share the love of God with someone without things being awkward? 

Can you think of someone that you know who is not saved? Who are they? How might you share your faith with them in the future? 

Prayer guide: Hopefully there are some people that you can pray for right now. Pray together for the lost people that you just discussed. Pray that God would save them. Pray that God would show you how to best influence them toward Jesus. Pray together that God would give you opportunities to lovingly share truth with them.

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Camp deadlines!

Hi parents! Remember that this week is the deadline for registering your students to go to camp! Both camps are $325 (with payment plans available).

I'll be submitting the paperwork THIS WEEK! So don't miss out if you want your kids to go! If you plan on sending your kids, shoot me an email (swehandalie@gmail.com) or a text message (804-896-1187) right away to let me know for sure. Email or text if you have any questions!

Some great resources!

Hi Parents!

You may notice that this is the first update to the site in several weeks. I'm so sorry about that! We've been experiencing some technical difficulties, which I hope have been rectified. As I cross my fingers and hope that last night's lesson video successfully uploads, I wanted to pass along an awesome resource I came across this week:

A Christian mom named Natasha Crain has an awesome blog called christianmomthoughts.com. It's a great site, loaded with awesome content for parents!

I wanted to direct your attention to a couple of pages that she's written, concerning the importance of parents learning apologetics and teaching apologetics to their kids.

The first page is all about why parents should care about apologetics, and why it is so important for them to be learning. Read that post by clicking here.

Next, Natasha provides some simple and easy ways for parents to get started in learning apologetics. You can find that page by clicking here.

Finally, She lists 65 of the most important apologetics questions to learn, and on her blog throughout this year she will be addressing each question! What an awesome way to slowly work through some of the most important questions we will ever face! Find that article by clicking here.

I encourage you to bookmark her page and start following her content! It's clear that she and I have the same goal: to equip parents to spiritually disciple their children. What a great site! Check it out, and let me know what you think.

Lesson update: 4-2-14: Final lesson of Disconnect

Good afternoon parents! Last night marked the final lesson in the Disconnect series, and we discussed the topic of belief vs. commitment.

Remember that one of the central themes of this series has been that our actions and decisions show what we truly believe, rather than our words. It's easy to say certain things, but it will be our lives that show whether we truly believe what we say.

In the first week, we looked at Romans 6:1-14, and talked about grace. Many people, although they say they are thankful for God's grace, show by their lives that what they truly believe is that since God will forgive whatever they do, they have the freedom to sin as much as they want. But God's grace should not cause us to live badly, but better.

In the second week, we looked at Matthew 7:21-23. There are a lot of people whose lives show that they believe that Christianity is about fulfilling a religious checklist. Going to church, praying and reading their bibles, trying to follow the ten commandments, etc. But Jesus said in this passage that the ones who will be in heaven are those with whom he has an actual relationship. The things on the religious checklist are good things, but they are not the same thing as being in a committed, intimate, daily relationship.

Last week we talked about the world's urge for people to "follow your heart." But Jeremiah 17:7-10 tells us that the heart is deceitful and wicked. Even so, by following their hearts, so many people are showing that they believe in their feelings more than they believe in the Word of God. Instead of framing every decision with the question "what would God want me to do," people usually make their daily decisions based on the question "what do I want to do."

Finally, last night, we talked about Luke 9:23, where Christ commands us to follow him. To access the powerpoint for the lesson, click HERE. Unfortunately this week, there is no video, as our sound and media tech had a family medical emergency. Hopefully, reading over the powerpoint as well as my post here will give you a good idea of what the lesson looked like.

Put in its simplest form, the lesson taught that it is very easy to say that you're a christian, but Jesus desired that we actually obey and follow him rather than just giving him lip service. In Luke 6:46 he asked, "Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord' and not do what I say?" Simply ascribing to him the proper title means nothing if we do not also obey his commands. Throughout the daily discussions, I will outline the main points of the lesson.

Thursday:

Pull up slide number 8 from the powerpoint, entitled "The 'Christian' Nation." Talk to your kids about the statistics listed there, and talk about what it really means to be a Christian. Isn't it incredible that out of all the people who claim to be Christians, only 17% percent attend church? Isn't it incredible that only half of the people who attend church view their faith as being important to their every day lives?

Here is the heart of the disconnect: making verbal claims that our lives don't reflect. I'm not saying that a person has to be perfect to be a christian, or even close. But they do have to be committed to Jesus. The word "christian" means "follower of Christ" after all. Can a person who does not follow Christ truly call themselves a follower of Christ? Of course not. So what is required for a person to be a Christian? The same sorts of things that are required to be in a functional marriage: Commitment, exclusivity, faithfulness, communication, relationship, etc. People don't have to wonder whether I'm married to Alison. There's plenty about my life to give evidence of that fact. I'm certainly not a perfect husband, but I'm a committed one. The same should be true with our relationship with Christ. Talk all this out with your kids. Ask them what being a Christian means. Ask them what Jesus requires of us. Look again at Matthew 7:21-23, and Luke 6:46.

Pray together. Talk about what you'd like to do together as a family this weekend.

Friday:

Ask your kids what they believe about Jesus. Expect that you will probably receive some very typical answers ("I believe he's lord," "I believe he's the son of God," "I believe he's the savior" etc). Now ask them to dig deeper. What do those things really mean? What does it mean for him to be Lord? (Lord means "Master, owner, ruler, boss). What does that mean for our lives every day? Are you treating him as Lord every day, or more of an afterthought? Do you really ask Jesus before making decisions, "Lord, what do you desire?"

It will important here to be honest with your kids. You may want to say, "You know, I'm guilty of not doing that too," if indeed that is the case.

Pray together. Hopefully by now you're getting in the habit of doing so, and it's becoming familiar to talk about what the real prayer needs of your children are.

Saturday:

Bring up slide 12 from the powerpoint, "Cleaning your room." At this point in the lesson, I made the following point:

"Lets say your mom came to you and said, 'Go clean your room.' Then two hours later, she came back and four that you had not cleaned your room. She would probably get upset and ask you why you hadn't cleaned it. And lets say you responded, 'Mom! Great news! I memorized what you said. You said 'Go clean your room.' Isn't that great?' Your mom would say, 'I don't care that you memorized it! I want you to actually clean it!'

Or lets say she came back to your messy room and you said, 'Mom! I learned how to say 'Go clean your room' in Greek!' Or what if you said, 'Mom! Guess what I did! I invited some friends over, and we got in a small group and talked about what you said. We even wrote a song about it, and sang it together! Then we discussed your command, and what it would look like for someone to obey it!' Isn't that great?'

No. It's not great. And you would be grounded. Why? Because you never actually did what your mom said! Even if you believed that she meant it, even if you talked about it, sang songs about it, or told your friends about it, if you didn't actually do it, it wouldn't matter. The same is true with Jesus. It doesn't matter to him how much we go to church and talk about his commands. He wants us to actually obey his commands. If we see the above scenario with your mom as ridiculous, why don't we see it that way with God?"

Discuss this with your kids. Ask what are some of the things that Jesus commands, and discuss whether they (and you) are following them.

Pray together. Make sure that everyone gets to bed at a good hour, because you're going to church tomorrow!

Sunday:

As usual, pay attention during the sermon so that you can discuss it later. If you missed church, go to the church website and view a video of a different service you missed. Even if you couldn't physically make it to church, It's important to remain connected.

Pray together.

Monday: 

Pull out your Bibles and have your kids read Luke 9:23 out loud. Then discuss each of the phrases and definitions found on slide 19. Before giving the definition of each, ask your kids to define them. "What does it mean to deny yourself?"

Pray together. Ask how school went, and if there are any things about school that you can pray for. Talk about what's coming up this week and pray about those things as well.

Tuesday:

Review with your kids the main points of the Disconnect series (a summary is at the beginning of this blog post). Make sure that they have a firm understanding of each one. If there is still any confusion or questions, talk it through.

Pray together.

Wednesday:

Take your kids to youth group! Seriously. Take them. Help them with their homework if you have to. Remember: if you don't make it a priority, neither will they. And remember also that you're in charge, and can make them go even if they're not interested ;-)

Discuss with them afterwards what they learned!

Lesson from 3-27-14: Disconnect Part 3 "Follow your heart"

Good afternoon parents! My hope is that after Sunday's sermon on discipleship, you have taken it upon yourselves to spend 20 minutes a day with your kids in spiritual training! If not, it's never too late to commit! Like I said on sunday, it is the job of the church to equip the family; it is the job of the parents to disciple their kids. More than providing financially, leading spiritually is the number one calling on parents. It's not about being gifted enough, smart enough, or spiritually mature enough, it's about being committed enough. And someday your children will thank you for it.

As I challenged everyone on sunday, I encourage you again to take a good look at your life, and ask honestly what kind of disciple you are. Doing so will help you realize what kind of disciple you are making in your child as they follow your example. If you are lackadaisical in your faith, your children probably will be too. If you lead them daily in spiritual fervor, they will likely follow in your footsteps. It's not simply about protecting your children from poor influences (although that is important), it's more about being the good spiritual influence on a daily basis. So stand strong and lead well! Remember that I'm here to help in any way I can.

Last night's lesson was from Jeremiah 17:7-10.

We live in a culture that admonishes us to "follow your heart." Its in the music we listen to, the movies we watch, the books we read, and in the conversations we have with others. It sounds so romantic, so true. Culture makes it sound like if we don't follow our hearts, we're limiting our potential and selling ourselves short. That if we don't follow our hearts, we'll miss out on all we could experience in this life.

But is that true? Will following our hearts lead us to the emotional utopia that the world promises? The biblical answer is no. In verse 9 of the above passage, Scripture tells us that the heart is deceitful and wicked. Our hearts are corrupted by the sinful nature. Our emotions are different every single day. And our hearts deceive us into believing things that simply aren't true. If we follow our hearts, we will be led into sin and ultimately to a destructive end.

In last night's lesson, I admonished the students to follow the heart of God instead. That is the only way to know that our path is correct. And we are promised that if we trust in him and place our confidence in him, he will make us like trees with deep roots planted by a stream. Instead of following our emotions and feelings, instead of following after whatever our heart wants, let's instead frame every decision we make on a daily basis through a commitment to follow after the heart of God.

To watch the video from last night, click HERE. To download a copy of the powerpoint, click HERE.

below you will find your daily prayer and discussion guides for this week.

Thursday:

As usual, this is a good time to view the lesson together with your kids. Even if they were there and heard it in person, it's always a good idea to watch it a second time and pause and discuss whenever necessary.

Ask your kids if there were any parts of the lesson that really stuck out to them. Was there anything they could identify with? When listening to the example about Sweh dating "Kathy," could they see themselves ever being in a situation like that? Talk about what it means to follow God's heart instead of our own.

Ask your child what you can pray for them about. Talk about how tomorrow (Friday) is the last school day of the week, and ask them if there are any deadlines, or special things happening that you can bring before the Lord. Tell them what they can pray for you. Ask them to pray out loud for you, and then you pray out loud for them. Tell them how much you love them and tell them that you're proud to be their parent.

Friday: 

Review the week with your kids, and evaluate how things went spiritually at work, at home and at school. How did you feel as a family each individual did in representing the Lord?

Read Jeremiah 17:9. Talk through the idea of the heart being deceitful and wicked. Ask them if they've ever been so convinced of something that wasn't true, because it felt true at the time. Share examples from your own life.

Read also Mark 7:20-23, and Jesus words that from the heart come all sorts of wickedness.

Pray together. Pray for clean and pure hearts that follow the Lord instead of sinful desires.

Saturday:

Read Jeremiah 17:7. Discuss what happens when a person trusts in the Lord. Do bad things still happen to people who trust in the Lord? Yes. But are they destroyed by those bad things? No. Bring up slide number 18 from the powerpoint and discuss what is there.

Do something fun as a family today or tonight. Watch a movie, go out to eat, play a game, do something! You won't regret doing that instead of another chore.

Ask your kids if there's anyone at school that they could invite to church tomorrow. Offer to pick up and drop off whatever friend they choose. It's important to get them in the habit of reaching others.

Sunday:

At lunch after church, discuss the sermon. Talk about any points that stuck out, and share what you learned.

Send your kids or take your whole family to the youth group outing to Sweet Frog and the movie God's Not Dead! 

That's right. This is fun for the whole family. We're planning on meeting at Sweet Frog at 6, and going to the movie at 7. And here's even more to sweeten the deal: I told the students that if they bring a friend that does not go to church, both them and their friend will get their dessert and movie free! If your kids need a ride, I plan on taking a van from the church. We will leave promptly at 5:30 from the church, so make sure you're there before then. The movie will probably last 1.5 hours, so we should be back to the church by around 9, if not sooner.

When you get back from the movie, discuss it! What was your favorite part? What did you learn? What was the moral of the story? What should we as christians do differently in our daily lives now that we've learned from this movie?

Pray together. Ask your kids how God blessed them this week. Discuss some of the things that you're thankful for. Talk about what's coming up this next week, and pray over those things.

Monday: 

Read Jeremiah 17:10, and bring up slide 20 from the powerpoint. Talk about the difference between belief and action. Why does God judge us according to what our deeds deserve rather than what our mouths say? Does God expect us to be perfect? Why not? (Talk about the fact that God doesn't ask us to be perfect, but he asks us to be committed daily, in not only word but action).

Pray together. Ask your kids how their day at school was, and if there are any challenges they faced that you can pray about. Share with them about your day as well.

Tuesday:

Today would be a good day to go back over any days you've missed together this week. Life happens! Don't worry if you miss a day. The important thing is remaining committed. If you haven't missed any days, that's awesome! Take some time to just pray together, or sharing what God taught you today when you had your quiet time (your time spent alone reading the bible and praying).

Wednesday:

Take your kids to youth group! I can't emphasize this enough. The daily discussions will be aided so much by their presence in the group. They'll be able to connect with other believers their own age, and they'll get to have good clean fun. If your kids aren't interested in youth group, do everything you possibly can to convince them! Or, you could always do what my parents did: You're going whether you want to or not :-)

When they get home, ask them how things went. Tell them to give you a recap of the lesson. It'll help them retain what they've heard if they have to immediately summarize it verbally.

Pray together.

Weekly Lesson Update! "Disconnect" Week One

Good afternoon parents! Sorry I'm a couple days late on this update. But I hope that this update finds you well, and involved every day in discipling your kids!

Remember, 20 minutes a day can change the course of a life!

This week, we began a new series called "Disconnect."

After talking about our identity in Christ, we began this series by discussing the fact that for so many people, there is a disconnect between what they say they believe at church, and how they live their lives every day. Despite the fact that so many say they believe in Jesus, so few live in a way that glorifies him. Many people act so well at church, but outside the church they are no different than anyone else.

Why is there such a disconnect between people's beliefs and actions? What this series discusses is that the the truth of the disconnect lies between peoples professed beliefs and their practiced beliefs. In other words, a persons actions will show what they truly believe, despite what their mouth may say. As the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words.

To view this week's lesson, click HERE to be redirected to youtube.

Below you'll find your daily discussion guides. Happy discipling!

Friday:

A good place to start is to watch the video of the lesson from Wednesday. If your kids were not present at youth group, watch it together. After watching the video, discuss the lesson. If you need some help with questions, you can use the following:

- Do you agree with Sweh that there's a disconnect between what people say they believe at church and how they act outside the church? Why or why not? Can you think of examples of how this is true?

- What's the difference between someone's professed beliefs and their practiced beliefs?

- Do you feel confident in how your life outside the church connects with your conduct inside the church? Why or why not?

Pray with your kids. Pray for them. Prior to praying, ask them what you can pray for them. Ask them about school, and their relationships, and the challenges they face.

Saturday:

If you're able, do something fun with your kids today! The weather should be lovely.

When you sit down with your kids for today's discipleship, share with them examples from your own life where your beliefs didn't exactly line up with your actions. It will help your kids so much if you're vulnerable with them, and share your mistakes. Ultimately share how God has helped change you. Be honest as well if God needs to change you still! Don't mislead your kids about where you are in your relationship with God. They'll see through you in a heartbeat

Pray with your kids. Ask them to pray for you, that God will continue to sanctify you.

Sunday:

Take notes at church! Hopefully this is something that you make a habit of. As with every sunday, your discipleship today will center around Robert's message.

Discuss the message with your kids. Share with them what God taught you through the message, or what you already knew that the message reinforced. Ask them what they learned. Ask them if there was a particular point that he made that stuck out to them. What did they enjoy about the message? Did it bring up any questions that they may have? Was there anything they didn't understand?

Pray together. Pray that God would help each of you to be obedient to the challenges given in the sermon.

Monday:

Open your bible and read the passage from Wednesday night (Romans 6:1-14). Even better, have one of your kids read it. Discuss the passage, and ask questions like:

- Have you ever felt like you could do whatever you want, because you know God will forgive you? Why is that wrong?

- How should God's grace lead us to act?

- What's the difference between struggling with sin and choosing to make a habit of sinning?

Ask your kids how their day at school was. Ask them what was good, what was challenging, and how you can pray for them. Let them know how they can pray for you as well. Pray together.

Tuesday:

Ask your kids to think of a person that is the same at school as they are at church. What kind of qualities does that person have? How does that person manage to live a consistent life? What kinds of things do they make a habit of? How can you follow that person's example?

Pray together.

Wednesday:

Take your kids to youth group! Come on. You know you want to.

Ask your kids how youth group went. Discuss their thoughts on the lesson, the worship, even the game. Let them know that tomorrow you'll review the lesson with them.

Pray together.


I still haven't gotten any feedback from any parents! Let me know what adjustments can be made to this resource to make it even better. I'm praying for all your families!

Weekly lesson update 2-27-14

Good afternoon parents! This is the second week of your new family discipleship strategy! I'm so excited to have you on board, and hope that you are finding this site to be a valuable resource.

Last night, the lesson was about being identified with the mistakes and failures of our past. Many people spend their entire lives trying to run away from their past, or hide from it. We subconsciously wear labels that identify us with the things we have done.

For many others, they find themselves labeled by what others have done to them, and they define themselves by the way others have wronged them.

Still others define themselves by their addictions, their habits and their repeated sins.

But Christ has promised us if we are in him, the old has gone and the new has come! We find this promise in 2 Corinthians 5:16-19. Let that passage be your guide for discussion this week.

As promised, this week there will be a video copy of the lesson that you can watch on your computer or smart phone! You can see the video by clicking HERE.

a copy of the powerpoint from last night's lesson can be found by clicking HERE. Below, you will find your daily discussion guide.

REMEMBER: this is only a guide! Lead the conversation wherever God will take it. What matters most is that you are spending time in discipleship with your kids, and praying together with them.

Thursday: 
     If your child was present for youth group last night, ask them what they thought about the lesson. Ask them if anything impacted them specifically. Remember to ask leading, open ended questions, like "What parts of the lesson stuck out to you," rather than closed questions like, "So was the lesson good?"

If your child was not present at youth group, proceed to the following point:
Read 2 Corinthians 5:16-19. Perhaps ask your child to read it out loud. Then discuss the passage with them, sharing your thoughts and asking for theirs.

Pray with your kids out loud. Ask them if they have things in their lives that you can pray for. Show them that you are genuinely interested in the details of their lives!

Friday: 
     This would be a good time to watch the video of the lesson together, especially if your child was not present at youth group. If they were present, and put up a fight about watching the video because they already heard it once, encourage them to watch it with you because you haven't seen it and you want to do it together. If possible, don't let it turn into an argument. The time you spend in discipleship daily will hopefully become a time everyone looks forward to, rather than another chore that's forced on them. The video of the lesson can be found by clicking HERE. Follow along with the powerpoint by clicking HERE.

After watching the video, share your thoughts on the lesson. Were there parts that stuck out to you? Were there things that you didn't understand? It's ok if there are. Be humble. Your kids will appreciate that. Ask them if they have questions, or if they'd like to share what they found most interesting.

Pray with your kids. Verbally thank God for each one of them, and express in your prayer why you are thankful for them.

Saturday:
     Refer to the part of the lesson (Slide 12) that talked about people being identified with their past. Ask your kids if there is something in their past that they are afraid to admit, or something that they feel like defines them. This is a good time to use your parental judgement as well. You know your family history, and probably can think of some things in your child's life that they haven't really talked about, but you know impacted them greatly. This could be a mistake they made, or an event such as a tragedy, a family breakup, or a relationship break up. Talk through those issues. You could even share with your kids something from your past that has defined you wrongly.

Pray. Ask god to give your child freedom from the past, whatever it is that's hurting them still.

Sunday:
     Take your kids to Student Summit! The event is at 5-6:30 in the sanctuary! You do NOT want to miss out on this! Hopefully you'll attend, and have the opportunity to discuss it with them when you pick them up.

Either way, discuss Robert's sermon from church. Pick out a few points and verses to discuss.

Ask your kids if they have anything coming up this week that you can pray for or help them with. Deadlines, activities, personal relationship issues, etc. Pray with your kids that God blesses their week.

Monday: 
     Ask your kids about their day at school and/or work. Ask them to share details, not just "it was good." Ask them "why" questions.

Refer to slide 19 of the powerpoint, which talks about people in the bible who God gave a new identity. Pick one of the characters, read the relevant passages together (if you can't find them, email or text me), and then discuss their lives. What were the mistakes they made? How did those mistakes probably make them feel? How did God set them free from those mistakes and give them a new identity? How can God do the same thing for us?

When you sit down to pray, thank God for the examples in scripture of people that we can relate to. As always, ask your kids how you can pray for them. Ask them also to pray for you!

Tuesday: 
     Read 2 Corinthians 5:16-19 again, and focus on the part that says "not holding people's sins against them." ask your kids if there are sins that they are holding against themselves, and encourage them to give that over to the Lord for good.

Here's a difficult question: Ask your kids if there are any sins YOU have committed that they still hold against you. Be prepared for a difficult answer, and be HUMBLE, not DEFENSIVE. Ask their forgiveness, and give it over to the Lord together.

Pray with your kids. Pray over the things you've just discussed. Pray also for any other needs they may have.

Wednesday: 
     If your child was present at youth group, ask them how it went. Ask them what they learned. Ask them what they liked, or didn't like. If they weren't at youth group, finish discussing anything left from the week.

Pray together.

Like I said last week, I would LOVE to hear feedback from how this resource is impacting your family! Please call, text or send me an email! 

Lesson from Wednesday, February 20

Two weeks ago, I started a brand new series about finding your identity in Christ. So many people try to find their identity in the opinions and acceptance of others, in relationships, in accomplishments, in position, and possessions. But true and lasting identity can only be found in Jesus.

As you can see from the picture, the series is based off of the trilogy of movies about Jason Bourne: The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy, and The Bourne Ultimatum. Throughout the series, CIA operative Jason Bourne is desperately trying to answer the question, "Who am I?"

All of us have asked the very same question, and many are still trying to find the answer.

This week, we covered lesson two of the series, and discussed the fact that many people try to find identity in romantic relationships. (Last week was Valentine's Day after all).

Typically, there will be a video copy of the lesson for you to view on youtube. Unfortunately there was a technical difficulty so this week there's no video. Hopefully next week there will be.

I am attaching copies of last week's and this week's powerpoint presentations so you can see the lessons. The powerpoint for lesson one can be viewed by clicking HERE, and the powerpoint for last night's lesson can be found by clicking HERE.

As I will attempt to do every week, I'll post some ways that you can spend 20 minutes each day spiritually leading your kids:

THURSDAY: This is the beginning of the process. Talk to your kids, maybe over dinner. Let them know that you want to begin (if you haven't already) to invest in them spiritually every day. Tell them how much they mean to you, and your desire to be the best parent you can be to them. Tell them that you plan to invest in them daily, and tell them that you love them.

Pray with your kids. Ask them first if there is anything you can pray for them, and then do it.


FRIDAY: Consider having a family movie night watching The Bourne Identity. I'll issue fair warning here, there is some questionable material in this movie. There is some foul language, and one scene where Jason Bourne and his girlfriend begin kissing, and as the camera fades out it is implied that they are about to sleep together. No nudity is shown, but it's up to you as parents whether you want to watch the movie with your kids. A detailed parents guide listing all questionable content can be found by clicking HERE.

After watching the movie, discuss what you just saw:
- Why was it so important for Jason Bourne to find out who he was?
- Even though you've probably never had amnesia as bad as him, have you ever felt like you're trying to figure out who you are?
- Jason Bourne found his identity by going back to the source (the government). How can we find our identity by going back to our source, God?

A feature you will find every single day on this discussion guide is a prompt to PRAY WITH YOUR KIDS. For some, this will be new territory. For others, this is nothing out of the ordinary. But it is very important that you pray with your kids. If you've never done it before, it may be awkward at first, and that's ok. It will be so worth it in the end, after you build this habit. Ask them what's going on in their lives that you can pray for. Try to make it personal, rather than always praying for great aunt Ruth's hangnail. Tell your kids that you love them, and that you're proud of them.

SATURDAY: Last night's lesson was about relationships. Begin today by reading Ecclesiastes 2:1-11. Talk to your kids about their dating life, perhaps using the following questions:

- Do you feel like having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is a NEED in your life, rather than a WANT? Why or why not?
- Apparently, Solomon was never satisfied, no matter how much he acquired, or how many relationships he had (which was over 2,000!). Why was he never satisfied?
- Read Ecclesiastes 12:13. Where did Solomon finally realize satisfaction was found? (In following God.)

Ask your kids how you can pray for them. Share with your kids how they can pray for you. Spend a few minutes praying together.

SUNDAY: Do your best to take some notes from the sermon on Sunday morning. Write down the scripture passage that was used, and as many of the main points as you can. Then discuss the sermon with your kids. Ask them what they learned. Share with them what you learned. Ask them what they agreed with or identified with, or what stuck out to them. Share your thoughts on that as well. Ask them if there was anything they disagreed with, and why. It's ok if they're honest about this. There's nothing sinful about having doubts. It's awesome if they can share those things with you, and have you direct them lovingly toward the truth. Don't demean them if they have questions or disagree with something. If you need an answer about something, contact me or Robert.

Pray with your kids.

MONDAY: Ask your kids about their day. It's important for them to know how much you care. Really listen and engage them in their stories. If all they say is "fine." Try to ask them some more leading and probing questions. Tell them verbally that you care about hearing what's going on in their lives.

Read Romans 8:5-14. Pull up the powerpoint from Wednesday's lesson, and read the part where I discuss this passage. Ask the following questions:
 - What kind of things do you feel like you have your mind set on? Worldly things, or godly things? Be honest with them about your mind as well.
- How can we as a family, and we as individuals better get to a place where our minds are set on godly things?
- Do you feel like you're completely fulfilled in a relationship with Christ? Why or why not?
- What does it mean to you that you are a child of God (verse 14) if you have come to a place where he is the Lord of your life (verses 9-10)? How does that make you feel?

Pray with your kids. Ask them about things in school, or their activities that you can pray for. Ask them if there are friends that you can pray for.

TUESDAY: read again the last part of the lesson, beginning with the section about why finding identity in relationships will fail.

- Ask your kids if they've experienced someone failing them in a relationship. Ask them if they've ever had their feelings hurt by someone they were dating. Share with them that you've experienced the same thing, even with your spouse (current, or previous).
- Ask them if they understand what it means that only Christ can complete them. Be honest and share with them whether you fully understand it.
- Ask them whether they agree or disagree with the statement "trying to find identity in a romantic relationship is idolatry."  Why or why not? If not, try to guide them to why it is.
- Ask them what they think about "The Challenge" presented at the end of the lesson.

Pray together. Ask them if they feel comfortable praying out loud too. If not, tell them that's ok, but you'd like to work up to that with them.

WEDNESDAY: If your child was present at youth group, ask them how it went. Ask them what they learned. Ask them what they liked, or didn't like. If they weren't at youth group, finish discussing anything left from the week.

Pray together.



PLEASE give me your feedback on this process! I'd love to hear how things went, and I'd love to have your suggestions!

The inaugural post! Why are we the Samurai?

Hello parents! Ever wonder why our youth group is called the Samurai? hopefully this post will help. Contact me with any questions!!

In Him,
Pastor Sweh


WHY ARE WE THE SAMURAI??  <- CLICK!