#selfie: Cultivating your Godly self image

Good afternoon Parents! We continued this week with the theme of Selfie and the idea of being created in Gods image. Take a bit to watch the lesson from this week here and follow along with the slides here. You may be slightly confused by the video and think "who is this strange white guy and where is Sweh?" But have no fear, for those of you that dont know, that is my intern Ryan. The idea of self image is crucial to teens lives but we often distort it. To often we try and emulate people to simply have them like us, when our God who loves us is the only opinion that truly matters!

Thursday:

Sit down with your teen and discuss why we all seek validation from friends. Briefly revisit the idea of the profile and what your teen is trying to fit into or be what they are presenting to everyone on their profile. Try and help them pin point what they are doing to seek validation from others and whether or not this is good. Talk about healthy ways of being validated such as doing their best in school (this does not mean they will do well in every subject), finishing well in sports (no matter if they win or lose), or serving in church. Remember to emphasize that we do not do these things for people to like us, rather we do them to glorify God.

Prayer Guide: Pray for your teen that they would not be so concerned with getting people to like them and that they would focus on solidifying their relationship with Christ.

Friday:

The culture in which our teens are growing up today is very much centered around ourselves. We are told continually throughout each day to do what makes us happy, to live for ourselves, to get what we deserve. With all of these bombardments we must have an outlet to share these things. Social media today is a great tool but how often do we use it socialize? While there is nothing wrong with posting statuses or pictures, discuss the idea of posting for the purpose of self promotion. Discuss ways of taking the focus off of ourselves and focusing it on Christ. As set up for tomorrow briefly revisit the celebrities that your teen is seeking to emulate. Ask them to think more about why they want to emulate them for tomorrow.

Prayer Guide:

Spend time praying with your teen about how they can self promote less and instead represent Christ. Pray specifically that they would be an example to their friends in this area. Pray for your teen that they would not feel the pressure from society to be something they are not.

Saturday:

Hopefully your teen is ready to talk about why they are trying to emulate certain celebrities or friends. Move through this with a couple different questions such as: What are you doing currently to emulate them, What qualities do they have that you want, Is this celebrity really a good example to follow? After you have discussed these questions take the conversation to the subject of approval and whos they are looking for. The reason that we do certain things is to gain the approval of others because we often think that this approval will somehow make us happier or better off. Galatians 1:10 says “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ” When we are constantly seeking the approval of our friends we ignore what Christ has called us to do. Talk through ways that your teen might be seeking unhealthy approval from piers.

Prayer Guide:

Pray with your teen about not being so concerned about having the approval of others and rather seeking the approval of Christ. Pray they would seek what the Lord desires for their life and that they would become the man or women that God has planned for them to be.

Sunday:

Start by sharing with your teen times that perhaps you compromised in order to gain the approval of others. I encourage you to be honest with your teens, they often forget that you were their age once and made the same kinds of mistakes. Share with them from your  experience how detrimental it can be to ones self to ones self when we allow others to make our choices for us. Talk about how superficial popularity is never worth life long consequences.

Prayer Guide:

Pray for wisdom for your teens. Pray that they would stand strong in their faith and their morals and that they  would not be swayed or moved from what they know to be right just because other people are pressuring them to do so.

Monday:

Take your Bible and turn to Psalm 139:13-16. After reading this discuss the idea of what it means to be uniquely and intricately created. The passage says we are fearfully and wonderfully made, with that in mind move the conversation towards the idea that we were created with purpose and intent. Remind your and yourself that this intentional creation shows love and care from our Heavenly Father.

Prayer Guide:

Pray with your teen that they could not seek the approval of others so much and that they would realized that their Father loves them and that is all that matters!

Tuesday:

Finish this week by opening back up to Psalm 139 and focusing only on verse 15 and 16. Discuss why it is so important to our faith that we know that we were specially created. If we simply go the route of saying that scientific genetics are always predictable and your child looks like you because that’s how things work, we strip God of His power and deny the fact that He carefully and lovingly knit us all together. The end of verse 16 says that all of our days were numbered before there was yet one, Converse with your teen about what this means for their life. Does God have a plan for them? Yes! Get them thinking now about what this might be and how the Lord desires to use their life for His glory and their good.

Prayer Guide:

Pray for your teens future today. Pray with them that they would want to serve Christ and would do whatever He may call them to in life.

Wednesday:

TAKE YOUR KIDS TO CHURCH!!! Don’t just let them sit around and complain later about being bored. Invest in their spiritual life and get them plugged in tonight!

#selfie : Cultivating Your Godly Self Image

A Good Afternoon to all Parental Figures! I trust that this Thursday finds you doing well and continuing to grow and deepen your relationship with your children, no matter what age they are. Our new series, which is entitled #selfIe: Cultivating Your Godly Self Image, has been themed around instagram and the way that it functions. Just as a quick disclaimer, I do not think instagram is bad or that your children should not use it, rather it serves as a good object lesson in this case. It is up to your own family discretion whether instagram is for your kids or not.

Over the next 3 or 4 weeks we are going to be dealing with topics such as body image and how society tells us what is the "ideal", appearance: how we dress, what we wear, and who we hang out with. The goal of this series is to help teens to realize that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and that God is the only one whose approval of them truly matters.

In this first lesson, we talked about our "Profile." Everyone on instagram has one. It is designed for people to put pictures and biographical information about themselves in order to tell the world, "this is who I am." But isn't it funny how people's profiles tend to look like everyone else's? Instead of being thankful for and making the most of our own profile in life,  we spend so much time and energy trying to fit someone else's profile of who we should be. Before you talk with your teens make sure to take a few minutes and watch the lesson here and to look over the power point slides while you do here.

Thursday:
A selfie is literally an image of yourself. Begin a discussion today with your teens about their self image. On this first day, focus on the idea of profile, and how we spend energy trying to fit a cultural "ideal." What are some of the elements of the cultural "ideal?" What are some of the things that guys and girls are expected to be and do? What are some of the aspects of how we are supposed to look, dress and act? Ask your teens if they feel pressured to meet this cultural "ideal," and how they are dealing with that pressure. Ask them about their friends, and if they can think of examples of people they know who are chasing the "ideal." Tell your teens that this week you're going to help them try to work through that pressure by chasing Jesus rather than chasing an ideal. This would also be a good time to be honest with them about your own struggle to fit a cultural ideal. Talk about when you were growing up, and be honest about the fact that adults are pressured to fit a cultural ideal as well. Share with them from your heart about things that you've wrestled with.

Prayer guide: Pray for your kids that God will help them to find their value in him rather than in a cultural ideal. Pray for clarity in perspective, and that God would help them (and you) to let go of comparing yourself to others. Pray that you all would be good stewards of your "profile" instead of trying to fit someone else's.

Friday:
Go to the 20th slide of the powerpoint and begin a discussion regarding the statistics that are shown. Ask your kids if they are unhappy with something about their bodies. Ask them if they are taking measures (whether healthy or unhealthy) to change those things about their bodies that they don't like. Talk about healthy ways to steward your body well, without becoming obsessive or unhealthy in any way. Ask your kids if they feel pressured to be a certain weight, or a certain body fat or muscle percentage. Again, talk about being healthy rather than being a certain size.

Talk about the entertainment that your children listen to and watch. Talk about the effect that media can have on our self-image. Ask them if they are aware of any examples of things they have seen or heard that have affected them. For example, "I see how women look on the cover of magazines, and I want to look like them," or "Most of the people I see on reality shows are really hot, and I feel like I don't measure up..." etc. As a parent, pray about what choices your family should make regarding entertainment. Entertainment is not necessarily a bad thing. Please don't be legalistic about restrictions. Instead, train your kids how to be discerning, and how to filter out the junk on their own. If all you ever do is hide the world from them, they won't be prepared to face it when they are on their own.

Prayer Guide: As you did yesterday, pray together about self-image. Pray that God would give each of you a healthy view of yourself. Pray that God would help each of you to be good stewards of your profile. Pray that God would release you all from the pressure to look a certain way.

Saturday:
Today's discussion has the potential to be very awkward and uncomfortable, especially if you have never had it before. The 23rd slide of the powerpoint talks about eating disorders, and the percentage of people who struggle in that area. Before talking to your kids, it is vitally important that you are prayed up. Pray that God would give you the words to speak. Pray that he would help you to lovingly and compassionately broach this subject without being brash, or making matters uncomfortable. Pray that God would help your kids to be comfortable with being open and honest with you, or with a trusted advisor.

It may be useful to do some reading on the subject before bringing it up to your children. One recommended resource I would point to is a series of articles by Focus on the Family, which can be found by clicking here.

If you have ever struggled with an eating disorder, or unhealthy dieting, share your story with your kids today. If you never have, do your very best to not come across as judgmental toward those who do. Tell your kids how deeply you love them, and that if they are struggling in this area, that they can be honest with you about it without fear of rebuke. Approximately 10-15% of Americans struggle with an eating disorder. And many of those that do struggle with an eating disorder never report it, so that number is likely higher. All that to say, there is at least a 10% chance that your child, male or female, has struggled at some level with unhealthy eating or exercise habits.

Have the discussion with your kids. Ask them gentle, loving questions about their eating and exercise habits. Ask them about counting calories, and strict dieting. Offer your assistance in making sure that they are fed healthy, well-prepared meals so that they can steward their bodies well. Assure them of your love for them. Today is not the day for correction or rebuke. Today is the day to let them know how much you care, and that you want to come alongside them.

Prayer guide: Your prayer at the end of the discussion will greatly depend on how the discussion went. If they admitted to struggling with an eating disorder, pray through that. If they said they don't, and you believe they are telling the truth, pray that God would continue to establish healthy habits and mindsets. If they said they don't struggle in that area, but you have reason to believe that they are not being truthful, pray that "if they ever do struggle with unhealthy habits," God would give them the courage to be honest.

Sunday: 
Go to church! Seriously. Go to church. I know it's summer time, and it's easy to slack off, and go the lake every week, but seriously. If you're in town, don't slack. Go to church. Vacation from work and school is not a reason to take vacation from the gathering of believers.

Discuss Robert's sermon together as a family. Note points of emphasis. What stuck out to you? What did you learn? What did he confirm? What did he challenge in you to reconsider?

Prayer guide: Pray that God would help you all individually and as a family apply the things that Robert taught

Monday: 
Go to the powerpoint and pull up slide 29. Take a look together at the 1950s ads! Talk to your teen about how different the cultural ideal was back then. Talk about how the cultural ideal is a stupid thing to chase because it is ever changing. As soon as person catches it, it changes again. Talk about the fact that going through history, the ideal has always been different. Rather than chasing after that ideal, chase after value in christ which never changes.

It's important to point out to them that these advertisements shouldn't be seen as a new ideal, but rather a point of comparison to demonstrate that "ideal" doesn't exist.

Prayer guide: Pray that God help your teens to see through the lies of the cultural ideal. Pray that God would give fresh perspective.

Tuesday: 
After giving a recap of what has been discussed this week, open your bibles and read James 1:22-25 together. Hopefully by now you're getting your kids accustomed to reading out loud. Look at the main points discussed in the sermon. If you need, review that part of the video together. Now talk through each main point. Talk about the difference between hearing or reading God's word vs actually applying it to your life. On this point, discuss especially what God's word says about our value and image, and discuss why we hardly ever consider and apply that.

Next talk about what happens when we look in the mirror of scripture. Rather than being concerned about our weight or clothing size, we'll be more concerned with the sins in our lives.

Talk about the freedom that God's word gives us from our insecurities, as long as we apply it to our lives.

Prayer guide: Pray that God would lead your kids to a place of having total and complete confidence in him. Pray that they would not believe the lies of culture. Pray that they would not feel pressured to define themselves by appearance, but rather to be defined by who they are in Christ. Pray that as this series continues, they will be equipped to deal with the attacks of the enemy in healthy, godly ways

Wednesday: 
TAKE YOUR KIDS TO CHURCH!! Don't let them sit around!

Weekly lesson update: "Mine" lesson 2

Good Afternoon Parents! I apologize for the delay on this weeks lesson but hopefully you've been able to connect with your teens in other ways. Although there was no Youth Group this week I pray you have been able to lead and disciple your teen(s) in ways that will set them up for success in the future.

We are continuing with the theme of "Mine! Making Faith Your Own" and I cannot stress enough how important this is with youth today! If we as parents and mentors simply tell teens what to do all of the time they will never understand how to make decisions on their own. If we allow that pattern to continue than friends or peers might push them to do things they know are wrong, yet they will do them because they have not been taught how to make their own decisions.

Faith is vital to continuing in a christian walk which glorifies Christ. My hope is that through this series the teens might understand that this is not something you as parents are forcing them to do or is simply a get out of hell free card. Rather I pray that the teens take faith and make it personal and find how they can best serve and honor our Father with what they have been gifted.

That being said, I hope that this week helps your family to connect in a way that causes growth in all of you.

Thursday/Friday:  (combining 2 days because of the delay)

Sit down and watch part 2 of the "Mine!" series. You can find the video here or by going to YouTube and searching for the channel "Smyrna Samurai".

Start this week by discussing the idea of "The Apple not falling far from the tree". What are things that you and your teen(s) are both good at or do similarly? (ie My Father had an amazing mustache and I have been blessed with wonderful facial hair) What are things that you do differently or one of you are good at and the other is not. (ie My father was good at bowling, I am lousy at it) How do these things help you work together as a family or individually?

Prayer Guide: Talk to your kids about their plans for the weekend. Ask how they are actively making their faith their own and how they are going to do that throughout the weekend. Pray together for guidance in decision making this weekend.

Saturday:

Its Saturday, go do something fun together! Weekends are great for spending time together. Whenever you decide to get together tonight open to 1 Samuel 1 and take turns reading the chapter. Ask your kids what they did today and if there was any opportunity to make a decision for faith on their own. If there was, talk about it and why they made the decision they did. If not, then create an easy hypothetical situation and ask what they might do.

Prayer Guide: Pray together for strength for one another and that if there is a tough situation, that each one of you would make the wises decision.

Sunday:

Take a break from 1 Samuel and discuss Robert's sermon today. Try and discuss how specifically it might apply to your teen(s) and how they can use it in their life this week.

Prayer Guide: Making faith ones own is not something that happens over night. Pray for you kids that they will walk in a manner worthy of the Gospel and be given chances to test their faith.

Monday:

Open up to 1 Samuel 2 and read the chapter together. Talk about how Eli's sons misused their faith for their own selfish gains. Discuss why you go to Church as a family and in what ways you each are growing from it. I hope that there is evident fruit in both your life and the lives of your children and if not then perhaps its time to examine if you are simply going through the motions or perhaps are ignoring the Holy Spirit's call on your life. In that case what can you do to make your a worldview instead of just an activity?

Prayer Guide: Pray that as a family you would be active in your faith and make it more than simply something to do on Sunday and Wednesday night.

Tuesday:

Read 1 Samuel 3 as the last day for this week. Look specifically at how Samuel obeys the Lord and takes faith as his own personal relationship with the Lord, even though he is just a child. Ask your teen(s) if they had to find their own way to church, would they still go? Is their faith something they want to actively grow in and build upon? Tell your kids how you are making your faith personal and making it your own.

Parents remember it is YOUR job as Fathers and Mothers to lead your children by example! What kind of example are you setting for them? Are you actively and willingly pursuing opportunities to grow in your faith, to build on your faith, to understand more what faith in Christ means? I encourage you that if you are not involved with a church ministry, to find one and become an active participant. However please DO NOT do this if it is simply just for the sake of being seen by others. Real faith does not seek glory or recognition.

Prayer Guide: Start by praying separately for a minute or two and ask God how you might best serve Him this week. After a minute or so has passed come together with your kids and pray as a family that you might be able to exemplify Christ to one another in the weeks to come. Pray also for your teens to grow and to own their faith.

Weekly lesson update: "Mine" lesson 1

Happy Thursday parents! I hope that this message finds you discipling your children every day. Last week I did not upload a lesson update, because next week I'll be on vacation. So this week, I'm uploading two weeks worth of content, so that next wednesday you there will still be content to work from! (So in case you haven't figured out, there will be no youth group on Sunday or Wednesday of next week. But not to worry. There will still be content for you and your kids to follow this week and next week.

Below you'll find the lesson update for the latest series I'm' teaching, "Mine! Taking faith and making it your own."

According to one study, 65% of Americans age 65 or older claim to be Christians. But only 35% of Americans age 46-64 claim to be Christians. Even worse, only 16% of Americans age 33-45 claim to be Christians. And worst of all, only 4% of Americans age 32 or younger claim to know the Lord. Obviously, faith is not being passed down from one generation to the next. There is clearly a disconnect somewhere. I believe that part of that disconnect that is each generation is making their parents faith less and less their own. The average student attending church with their family is only living out their parents faith, never owning it for themselves. And as soon as obstacles to that faith arises, they leave it in their past. It's easy, because it was never theirs to begin with.

So how does a person take their parents faith and make it their own? How can parents help their kids own their faith? That's what this series is all about.

Thursday:

Sit down together with your kids and watch the first video of this series. You can find a copy of the video on YouTube by clicking here. Unfortunately, the video got cut short somehow at the end of the lesson, but you can find the rest of the main points by looking at my powerpoint presentation found here.

Discuss with your kids the statistics listed at the beginning of the lesson. Does this reflect what you see in your friends? Throughout the week, you'll discuss the rest of the lesson.

Prayer guide: Ask your kids what they'll be doing in school tomorrow to finish the week. Share with them what you'll be doing at work to finish out the week. Pray together about your Friday. Pray that God will help them to make their faith their own.

Friday: 

Discuss the idea of Parallel play. Watch this section of the video again if needed. Ask your kids to honestly evaluate whether they feel that you as a parent are interacting with and leading them spiritually, or if they feel like you're just playing church next to each other. Some sample questions to ask include the following:

Do you feel like we're serving Jesus as a family, or are we just participating in church activities as individuals? 

Do you feel like I'm actively leading you by not only showing you a godly example to follow, but also taking an active role in teaching you how to follow Jesus? 

What would make you feel like we're doing this together?

Now spend some time strategizing.  Figure out together how to make faith a shared experience. Be honest about where you are. If your kids feel like you're not setting the example, don't be offended. Take the evaluation with humility, and determine to do better. Tell your kids that you want to commit to doing all you can to lead them spiritually.

Prayer guide: Ask your kids to pray for you out loud, that you'll be the best spiritual leader you can be. Pray for your kids out loud, and pray for yourself, not only that you'll be the best spiritual leader that you can be, but also that they will follow Jesus with all their hearts.

Saturday: 

I suggest this almost every week, but if you're able, do something fun together! When you sit down to discuss this week's lesson, first sit down to read 2 Timothy 1 together. Take turns reading about 4-5 verses each until you get through the chapter.

Yesterday you discussed your responsibility as a parent to lead. Today the onus is on them. Ask your kids what they are doing personally to "fan into flame the gift of god." Ask them if they are doing all that they can possibly to do own their faith, and follow Jesus. If not, discuss how they can.

Prayer guide:  Like yesterday, pray out loud for your kids that they would be followers of Jesus, and would seek with all their hearts to obey him.

Sunday:

As always, take some time to discuss Robert's sermon together. Hopefully by now you're in the habit of taking good notes, or remembering main points to discuss. Ask your kids what part of the sermon was most impactful, and share with them what was most impactful to you.

Prayer guide: Today, spend some time praying for people in church who, for whatever reason, can't be there on sunday morning. Whether it's because of sickness, scheduling conflict, or just the decision  to not attend, pray together that the Lord would minister to them where they are.

Monday:

Part of "fanning into flame the gift of God" is taking the time to examine your faith. To make it your own, you have to be comfortable enough with it to grab hold of it. If you have nagging doubts, or lingering questions, it will be difficult to do that. Tell your kids that they have the freedom to express their doubts to you without judgment. AND THEN BACK THAT UP. If your child opens up to you and says that they are doubting their faith, or even that they don't believe at all, don't jump down their throats. The fact that they were honest enough to tell you that was a step of courage, and one that you should honor. Thank them for their honesty, and tell them that you love them no matter what, and that you want to help them examine their doubts and questions.

Together, make a list of the things the questions and doubts they may have. Once you have that on paper, you can work together to find answers to the hard questions! I'll do whatever I can to answer those questions with you. Be open and honest enough with them to put your own doubts or questions on paper as well. I posted this link last week, but here's a really good resource to discuss those questions: "65 Apologetics Questions Every Christian Parent Needs to Learn to Answer."

Prayer guide: Pray together that God would help each of you as individuals and together as a family to examine all the doubts and questions you all have. Pray for clear wisdom. Pray for strong faith that will come from examining.

Tuesday:

Talk to your kids today about sharing their faith. Talk together about whether or not any of you are actively sharing your faith with anyone at work, school, home, in your circles of friends, or the people that you're around in various situations. A vital part of owning your faith is sharing your faith. Ask the following questions, both of yourself and of them:

Are you praying every day for opportunities to share your faith? 

Are you afraid to share your faith? Why? 

When was the last time you shared your faith with someone? When was the last time For the salvation of someone who is lost? 

How can you share the love of God with someone without things being awkward? 

Can you think of someone that you know who is not saved? Who are they? How might you share your faith with them in the future? 

Prayer guide: Hopefully there are some people that you can pray for right now. Pray together for the lost people that you just discussed. Pray that God would save them. Pray that God would show you how to best influence them toward Jesus. Pray together that God would give you opportunities to lovingly share truth with them.

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Camp deadlines!

Hi parents! Remember that this week is the deadline for registering your students to go to camp! Both camps are $325 (with payment plans available).

I'll be submitting the paperwork THIS WEEK! So don't miss out if you want your kids to go! If you plan on sending your kids, shoot me an email (swehandalie@gmail.com) or a text message (804-896-1187) right away to let me know for sure. Email or text if you have any questions!

Some great resources!

Hi Parents!

You may notice that this is the first update to the site in several weeks. I'm so sorry about that! We've been experiencing some technical difficulties, which I hope have been rectified. As I cross my fingers and hope that last night's lesson video successfully uploads, I wanted to pass along an awesome resource I came across this week:

A Christian mom named Natasha Crain has an awesome blog called christianmomthoughts.com. It's a great site, loaded with awesome content for parents!

I wanted to direct your attention to a couple of pages that she's written, concerning the importance of parents learning apologetics and teaching apologetics to their kids.

The first page is all about why parents should care about apologetics, and why it is so important for them to be learning. Read that post by clicking here.

Next, Natasha provides some simple and easy ways for parents to get started in learning apologetics. You can find that page by clicking here.

Finally, She lists 65 of the most important apologetics questions to learn, and on her blog throughout this year she will be addressing each question! What an awesome way to slowly work through some of the most important questions we will ever face! Find that article by clicking here.

I encourage you to bookmark her page and start following her content! It's clear that she and I have the same goal: to equip parents to spiritually disciple their children. What a great site! Check it out, and let me know what you think.